(un)broken heart

You know God has such a way to protect us, sometimes it takes my breath. Last week we had a cardio appt for miss Ella. I was told from day one she had a heart murmur, her pedi could not hear it so I thought no bid deal, we will go to the cadrio appt and get it checked, it's gone and that will be that. Um. yeah. NOT that easy. So we go in and Ella get a EKG, no biggie dr comes in says so about this HOLE IN HER HEART. UM? WHA? HOLE? no. The dr thought I knew. I didn't. cue--PANIC. She calmed me down, explained things to me, and took us to the ultrasound room. Let me just clarify here, never ever have I gotten good news in these "types" of rooms, always oh sorry your baby has no heartbeat, you have to have surgery to remove said baby from your uterus. So you know I was thinking, great--here we go. Well thank God I was wrong. Everything is fine, hole is gone and Ella's heart is perfect. And that folks is how God protected me, he knows I am a worrier I worry about everything. I try not to,but alas I do. And something this major, oh buddy I would have had a field day with it. Moral of the story,sometimes it is better to be uninformed. This time at least.

I'm a total slacker.

I wanted to do this for my kids, keep track of things going on..I'm slacking! But I can say they are clean, fed, bathed and loved on every.single.day. These babies are my life!


August 10th I got a call from DCS saying that Ella's birthmom had signed over her rights. I was happy but still feeling reserved. It's not forever to me until my fanny is sitting in the court room on the hard cold chair in front of the judge, y'know?

Fast forward a couple of days, CASA worker shows up for her visit and TOTALLY bursts my bubble. She told me Ella's bm had 30 days to change her mind. I tried not to think about it, but I worry..that's who I am. Monday, Ella had a court hearing. Birthmom showed up (we totally thought she wouldn't) and judge asked he some questions,like id Ella had not been so medically fragile would she have done this...birthmom said no. Cue casa worker showing up at my house and saying that she thought Ella was painted out to be medically fragile when she is not, and bascially that if bm had known that she would have kept her. Cue more worrying on my part. Basically she is ours, but I have to wait the 30 days. We signed papaerwork yesterday and get fingerprints soon. We just sit and wait. Waiting is hard.

Ella is doing very well, she crawls and sits and is trying to pull herself up. She weighs 14 pounds 11 oz but still is not taking solids well, it seems to be a texture thing.


Isaiah is doing very well, we are doing preschool on monday, wed., and fri. he loves it. I am teaching him at home and today we did the letter "B" and fingerpainted bumble bee's. He is now 36.5 pounds and is growing so big and tall. I love him so much.