Ice and snow storm?

I think I jinxed myself....just last week I asked D when the last time our area had a blizzard?  1978!! This was 2 years before I was born and I am 30!  Anyway I casually said to D that we are due for ice, well looks like we will be getting it, they are predicting ONE INCH of ice and 20 (TWENTY) inches or more of snow.  I am not going to talk about blizzards EVER again.  Haha!!


It has been kind of a stressful weekend, lots of plans changed by my mother, and sometimes I get sick of fighting, and just let her have her way.  We had dinner with her and my step dad saturday evening and breakfast with my dad and step mom on saturday.  Today has been pretty low key, we took Isaiah to the library and got some errands done, we ordered carry out for dinner and I am really wondering if I should go to the grocery store, but it is almost 8pm and I am tired, and I have a new kid starting tomorrow and he is only a year old.  So that makes me have my own kid Isaiah who is 3, Jenica-3, Sara-3, Kyle-4, and the new kid who is one.  I am going to go crazy.  haha!

I know it is not realistic but I want to blog everyday mostly like an online baby  book for my sugar bear.  We went to play group at the library yesterday, the teacher read a book about a bunny rabbit and we made a craft, and owl with feathers(our didn't look like and owl)  haha!  I think we are going back today to get some books and play, I am trying to find different things to do during winter, and we usually go to Mcplayplace on fridays so who knows what we will do. 


If the phone would quit ringing maybe I could get this post finished! Haha!  I have a chiropractor appt.  at 3 and, today marks 14 days straight of working, and I am really tired.  I am really looking forward to tomorrow when D and I are both off work and we meet Nana (my mom) for dinner.  I need some down time. 

Dinner

D had today off, and it has been rough--Isaiah is testing us with behavior and it is so hard for us to discipline him.  Since D is home we are really working on it, let me say Isaiah you are giving mommy and daddy a run for our money.

Last night we had some friends over for dinner, Zach and his wife are really nice and they have two great boys, Isaiah had a great time playing with them.  D grew up with Zach, they have been friends since grade school.

Tonight my friend from grade school Allana and her daughter came over and we ordered chinese and visited, we had a good time.  We were suppose to spend the evening tomorrow with my dad and his wife, but he has to work late (as usual) so that is a no go.  Saturday we are going to Indianapolis to have dinner with my mom.  Lots going on as usual. 

Isaiah-ism's

Isaiah has so many funny things he does and says.  He tells me all the time "Mama my daddy is my son!"  Haha!  He also says "Mama you are so pretty, I like your hair."  He has said before he wants to be "mawwied" to me.  <3 the boy is my life.  We have to be really careful what we talk about in front of him, he remembers everything, and then repeats it later when we don't want him too.  Yesterday him and I had lunch out together, and then went shopping where he talked me into buying him suckers and ate them while I shopped.  When we were through at TjMaxx, we went to the library and I read him some book, he said very loud "MOM I HAVE TO POOOOOP!"  Oh, my.  :)

Sunday's

I should be at church but I am still not feeling so great, I think we will go tonight, my cousin's little girl Gracie is getting baptized.  We woke up about 8 and watched some cartoons and ate breakfast, Isaiah was dressed by 9.  I LOVE dressing him in the morning, he has a closet full of clothes and he always looks like a little model. I don't think I have mentioned here before but I am a coupon and clearance kinda girl, I love bargains!  I am finally able to use coupons and save 50% or more at the grocery store.  I feel like I need to be a good steward with our money, and this helps so much. 


I think Isaiah and I are going to go to TJmaxx today, and maybe Kmart.  Not really to buy anything, but to get out of the house, it is so cold but we need to do something.  I am going to see if the library is open too, he loves it there. 

I talked awhile back about not feeling at home anymore at church.  Isaiah was dedicated in September '10 at church.  I felt like I looked nice, and had a teenage boy who attends there make fun of me to my face.  He was talking about my calves and how muscular they are, I was wearing high heels and you couldreally see my muscles.  I have since watched other woman, and lots of them have this feature too.  I have always struggled with my weight, being thin really only a hand full of times in my life.  My step mom put me on a diet at 7 years old, made me drink diet soda and would never allow me seconds.  It has affected the way I eat as an adult, and the way now I parent.  I make sure if Isaiah says he is hungry he gets what he is asking for (within reason)  I think a child should not be on a diet. Okay, so back on the church thing--he made a comment and I was upset.  I addressed the comment with several people in the church and it never went anywhere, now when I see him I give him dirty glances, and I hate to feel that way at church for goodness sakes!  So, I don't go.  I need to get over it I know that, but it brought back that insecure 14 year old girl, and that was a hard time in my young life. 

Wishing it were spring--cleaning

Last night D and I watched the movie "buried"  it made me have bad dreams.  We went to bed pretty early and I woke up at 1130 from a deep sleep when I heard a loud boom.  I remember waking up with my heart racing and walking around the house checking things out, and something oddly enough had fallen off the wall

We are still part time co-sleeping with Isaiah, only because I can't let go he does just fine.  I feel like I am being a bad parent if he is sleeping in his bed and not right here next to me, and when he is in there I get no sleep, I am always going in there to check on him.  I think it all comes from loosing our babies, I still some days am afraid something is going to happen to him.  I worry a lot.  I want to be good parent, a present parent--mine were not, my dad still isn't and it hurts.


 I woke up early with a head cold and sore throat, but that has not stopped me so far I have cleaned the bathroom (including scouring the tub) mopped and vacuumed, grocery shopped at two different stores and now I need to go make dinner, comfort food--meat loaf and mashed potatoes. 

D is working all weekend, so tomorrow I am going to try and find something fun and cheap for Isaiah and I to do. 

About the baby daddy HA!

D and I actually always say we will tell Isaiah we met at church, it is actually quite the contrary.  Derrick and I met in December 2000.  I was 20, he was a "bouncer" at a club.  I was in said club--underage.  Looking back, I know now that God had plans for us, something I would never have thought then. 

 I was in an abusive relationship, and in the mean time D and I were really good friends, talking on the phone everyday, eventually loosing contact I got out of the bad relationship and went overseas (by myself at 21) all the way to Vietnam to be with my mom who was adopting my baby sisters, and had gotten stuck there waiting on immigration to allow my baby sister a Visa.  I stayed in Vietnam for 3 months, and during that time all I could think about was D.  I emailed a mutual friend of ours and she gave me his email address.  We began emailing back and forth and fell in love.  I left Vietnam and came home June 2001.  We have been together ever since.  It amazes me looking back. 

I feel so blessed to have D as my husband and the father to our children both on earth and in heaven waiting for us.  Even though we don't have to fairy tale story of how we met, it still shows the miracles God can perform, even in a bar. 

God is so good.

Outta the mouths of babes :)

I am really just trying to keep a journal of everyday life here, my blog is a secret blog :) 
Today we are getting snow, and we are staying in and watching, right now we are watching shrek2 and I am sitting on the living room floor.  Tomorrow is friday which means we are going to Mcplayplace for lunch and playtime.  I am going to try and take Isaiah to the library after nap.  This morning I had to wake him up at 830, I asked him if he was going to get up and come watch the cat and the hat (PBS) with me in the living room--he said, "It's up to you mama."  HA! really?  Last night I bought him some things from Old.Navy, got some hoodies for $1.76 each! I felt like I was stealing HAHA!! I went tanning after and D took Isaiah into the bookstore and when I got done I met them, Isaiah was reading a magazine with a  blond wearing hardly anything,and he said "WOOK MAMA"  haha, I asked him if he thought she was pretty and he said yes with his eyebrows. 
Isaiah has started telling me I am his baby and daddy is his "boy" Ha!!! Where is he getting this stuff?  I love this kid!

Summer? HELLO SUMMER?

We are expecting 3 to 5 inches of snow this evening.  I don't like to admit it, but I like the excitement of running to the store (with THREE (3) year olds)  and getting all the things I "might" need, you know the bread, milk, and errr um cream cheese! HA!  I am obsessed with bagels right now. 

Last night I got 2 phone calls from the police officer that was at the scene of the fender bender I was in last week.  A 17 year old kid in his old beat up camero hit my van, and he is now trying to say it was my fault, even though I was sitting at the stop sign.  I am trying not to get upset, I know the good Lord knows the truth.  Still.  UGH! 

Isaiah is doing really well, actually he is spoiled rotten.  I am going tonight to tan and buy some new clothes, Old.Na.vy is having a big sale with 40 percent off on top of clearance.  I need new clothes, since loosing 70+ pounds everything makes me look frumpy.

Today I am thankful for my health, my husband who loves me even when I am not so easy to love, and my beautiful son.  I am blessed.  

I knew it!

I went to bed pretty early last night.  I told D it was a 2 xanax day, which means normally I don't need any at all, but yesterday I needed to doses.  I hate to even admit that, but I have days where I miss my babies who are not with me.  I made a big dinner of homemade "sgetti and meatballs"  and garlic bread and a nice salad.  We had some errands to run after dinner and I went tanning, it always warms me up and relaxes me.  D took me through the drive thru to get a strawberry shake at steak 'n shake, and then we came home and played with Isaiah and got him in his jammies.  I was so tired I was asleep before 10pm.

Tonight we have church, and we have not been in quite some time.  That story is for another blog post, but I just don't feel comfortable there anymore, nor does D.  I love the Lord, but I feel like we need to find a new church.

Today is a better day.  I am blessed.

I've seen better days......

I am having a bad day.  You know one of those days when you feel like no one appreciates you. Plus, add the fact I started my period and yeah, that's me right now.  I am the happiest I have even been, but I am allowed bad days too. 

Isaiah is going through a not wanting to eat phase, and since he had such poor health and eating habits when we got him, I am the nutrition natzi and that is not so fun, I want to do fun things, not yell at him to eat his peas.  Makes me get this rage in my body for the old hag that was fostering him, and I want to go pull her out of her house by her hair and beat the crap out of her.  So yeah a good day. 






Tomorrow will be better. 

Well at least THAT is working....

I have been feeling really tired the last 2 or 3 days, like go to bed at 9 tired.  That is not me, I am a late night kinda gal.  Soooo, I started thinking.  I remember mostly when I was pregnant with Griffin and I was so tired I went to be before nine while on vacation in florida, I didn't know I was pregnant yet and later thought--well duh!!  So, I was hoping but woke this morning with bright red blood. 

We have been talking about a sibling for Isaiah, he loved having kids around--almost craves it, so I know it is def. something we want for him, and us.  We really would like to adopt again, and I would like to experience carrying a pregnancy to term.  Guess we will wait and see.  God is in charge here, he knows what is best for us.  I know from before when I thought I was in charge, he showed me I was wrong, and boy am I glad he did!!

Living the life....

I feel like I am living in a dream still sometimes. I wake and see this baby boy who is just precious.  Today we went to McDonald's play place--one of his favorite things to do. Isaiah has been asking for him own "twane" (train) just like Andy has in Toy story 3. 
D's mom is coming to spend time with Isaiah tomorrow and we are going out for date night.  We have been away from him only a hand full of times, for 2-3 hours at a time, and this took me 15 months allow.  I worked so hard for him, and my intentions is to enjoy every minute I can with him.  Life is so good, God has blessed my life with this sweet, sweet prince. 

The beginning.

July 28th, 2003 to be exact.  My husband D and I were married.  We had talked before marriage about babies and both agreed we wanted them right away.  Fast forward 2 years and myself being diagnosed with pcos.  We tried months and months of clomid, only for it to not work.  After getting the news we needed "big guns" to make it happen.  We made an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologists.  We met with him and were pregnant that month. We lost our precious baby girl, and were so devastated.  This was August, 2006.  We tried again and were pregnant again with a miracle baby boy, we were so thrilled we even had a name "Griffin"  We lost Griffin after a routine ultrasound showed his tiny heart was no longer beating.  I had surgery and his tiny body was ripped from my body. I was beyond devastated.  We waited, but wanted to try "one more time"  this time I became pregnant with triplets. only to loose them too.  We found out we were pregnant with triplets on what would have been Griffin's due date, July 15h 2007.  
After loosing the last pregnancy I became a different person, I was so depressed and felt like the breath I was taking would be my last--I almost hoped it was.

In september 2008 I had something heavy on my heart to become a foster parent, after much talk we decided it would help us save for an adoption and we started the classes and became foster parents. We had a home study and were licensed in March, 2009.  We had several placements including a 6 week old baby with a skull fracture and brain bleed, and then a teenager whom we were going to adopt until he ran away.  We were approached by a case worker from DCS in June of 2009 about a baby boy who was adoptable, and asked if we would be interested.  YES!! We met Isaiah September 3, 2009 and he came home October 1, 2009.  We adopted him April 1st, 2010 and we feel like we are the most blessed people in the world.  Without my son, I feel I would be on a road of despair.  I don't have words.  
Isaiah John Carter, mommy loves you, you have saved me. 

At this point